Cuckoo...Ga-joob

Still standing...

2011-10-02T13:20:00.002+05:30

GATE helped. I'm now officially a student again. 2 more years of financial penury. eiyiyiyiyo.

Well, the one-song-a-month plan's not going too well. However, it's always good to get back on track.

'Standing'

Piano gibberish + Bass

I need more hours in a day.

Standing by Ga-Joob

So long, Coorji

2011-06-10T00:31:00.003+05:30

'Dear Uncle Coorju, i love you.
All those blackmail-worthy snaps of mine,
All those trips to Bannerghatta,
All those trips to the beach,
All those photographs you've clicked,
All those memories etched.
Half my sense of humour i blame on you.
Dear Uncle Coorju, i miss you.'

Lots of love.
- Gora

May's early...

2011-05-07T03:29:00.003+05:30

Canvas by Ga-Joob

"Canvas"

Melodies harmonise
Entwined verses from midnight to sunrise
Sailing ships,
Armies of poets fill up seas with words
About Your amazing smile

Flowing rivers of honey
Rippling the fabric of space-time
Over pastures of happy sunflowers
The Big star forgotten, they follow
Your bright eyes, in the sky

* I'm just an ordinary guy
With celestial cravings
Waiting for stars to align
And when The stars align,
You'll be right by my side

---
Vocal+harmony
Acoustic guitar
Bass
Rhodes Piano

Full on missings happening.

Beautiful Morning and the morning rush :)

2011-04-26T22:30:00.003+05:30

Beautiful Morning In A Rush by Ga-Joob

I just found out what her name means. I lau it.

This is April's. Bass playing is getting slightly more refined, i think.

Bass + Bass-wah + Rhodes layered.

Practice, practice, and some more practice.

Sun, please

2011-04-18T23:13:00.005+05:30

No Sunshine by Ga-Joob

Two tracks of piano (Grand and Rhodes), and one of bass.

Bill Withers 'reworked'.

Religious Pooh

2011-04-17T10:15:00.002+05:30

I walked out midway during today's service. Couldn't concentrate on praying. People piss me off. Sneezers, yawners, fidgety-handed-space-intruders.

It's Palm Sunday, and people were fighting over leaves being distributed freely. I got in line and soon out of it, because there ceased to BE a line...moronic motherfuckers stormed all around. Molestation galore.

I finally got a leaf and ended-up giving it to a really sweet old lady.

A woman's smile is dangerous.

After many months, the cute pianist in the choir finally made an appearance. The reason i stayed back for half the service, was just to listen to her play. She understands 'space' and 'flow'. Not many musicians get that. All those beautiful lines she plays, done without even a sustain pedal. I've been tempted to offer her a sustain pedal...but i never got the nerve to walk-up to her and talk, forget 'exchange notes'.

Traditional shy-ist, I.

The last week of lent almost certainly provides me with some sort of heartbreak or the other.

Oh well, theres a saying: 'Good things come to those who wait'.

But, theres also another saying: 'Those who wait, masturbate'.

Apna haath, Jagannath!

April's late

2011-04-13T22:57:00.004+05:30

Maha G. by Ga-Joob

Late by a few days; only laziness.

This is for Sid-the-boar's latest short film.
On:
Lead Vocals - Chandni Venkataraman
Backing Vocals - Sid-the-boar
Guitar - Ken-Dawwg
Bass - Naanu

I dont like it too much...the song. Too much tailor work.

It's very likely i will not do such things again.

Break-ups are bad, grey areas suck... separation is the worst.

Not enough...

2011-03-27T21:36:00.005+05:30

...time to play bass

...time to play piano

...of her next to me

...energy to identify a research problem

...of Samurai Jack

...women i blend with

...sense to stop brooding over all of the above.

Cracked GATE. Barely, surprisingly. Cant really use it though.

It will be a yearly event for me. Wash away the sins of B.E.

Blah.

Sea of Es

2011-02-24T11:35:00.003+05:30

Seas of Ease by Ga-Joob

This month.

Too lazy to fill it in with colour. Botched up GATE, and fell ill for nearly 5 days (both being mutually exclusive).

I like my progress on the Bass. Lots more to pen-down, record and fret over.

Blues and all that

2011-01-30T17:33:00.005+05:30

The objective is to record one song, every month. By the end of 2011, i should have enough for an album. Here's January :

Beaney Blues Town by Ga-Joob

The piano in this song annoys me, sort of. The bass seems to come through more naturally.

I've always felt like a guitarist trapped in a pianist's body. But then again, it's more about through which instrument the song was born. In this case, the bass. Framing bass lines to the disorganised, unstructured vague songs that i write on the piano could be challenging to me...have'nt tried that yet. For the moment, it's mainly lots of practice on the bass...occasionally a little tune creeps in...

Tiny riff, fleeting jingle

Would you like to mingle?

Serenade my mind

Till I'm lost inside

This loop to find that 'hit' single.

Sambadikeelim!

I want this to carry on. Maybe even join a band on bass.

Bassically

2011-01-02T09:15:00.002+05:30

'Jordy'

New obsession
New gear resolution
New love
New ear
New "knew i've always wanted to"

Ibanez SR 300...the reason why i trudged through december frugally.

Worth it.

Pick Up The Pieces

2010-10-17T19:47:00.003+05:30

Pick Up The Pieces by Ga-Joob

Old Man Me, met my younger self
Lying high and asked: "What have you done?"

"Left these pieces scattered
On the ground all around"

Who made you king for a day?
"You'll make my past sway this way"

"When life lies waiting (for you to)
Pick up the pieces"; Go where the peace is,
Reset my future; " If Only life was so easy."

"Now you're at ease, but soon you'll be facing
Raging storms and seas." Nobody cares!
Pick up these pieces, follow me
And I'll show you where.

"Who made you king for a day?"
We'll shape your past any way,
And roll with life, and find that peace, yes
"You'll be torn to pieces"
Thats unbelievable, You're standing right next to me.

Written for 'A Little Less Something', by me.

So long

2010-07-28T12:22:00.009+05:30

No inclination of any sort, to 'pen' things down. However, i have been playing, and recording...more of the former.
Sound Cloud is a lovely site i found through Kman.

Long live Kman and Mo.

The side-bar shows the music in a quite 'in-your-face' way.

Besides, there are things i want to write about; The impending ban on beef in the state; 'vegetarianism' in general; how i screwed up an important interview; how i got stuck in an unplanned meeting (brrr...). All to be written about soonly, i hope.

Interestingly, after all these months of deliberation, on music and life, i have come to an annoying juncture, where one person in particular, rather violently, rattles the cages of the chimps in my brain. Her voice annoys me terribly, and her face pisses me off. I'm not saying who...but somebody gonna get a herrt reel bad....somebody.

Long live Russsssal.

Anyway, hope this works:

Swirl by Ga-Joob

Para-gone

2009-08-03T13:08:00.010+05:30

.I write this post as a lament...not regret, but more as an expression of grief, although it's often tough to segregate the two.

The past one year had held a lot of promise, primarily, in the music scene of my life. Having taken a long hiatus from live performances, while in Singapore, i pretty much played alone (except for friday nights). All this musical wanking, i hoped, would eventually lead me to a state where-in, if i were to be part of a band sometime in the near future, i would be 'ready'.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Playing alone for nearly two years, and the events over the last few weeks has made me realise one thing: I am selfish, hence i make music only for my personal pleasure and growth.

Here, growth and pleasure are not mutually exclusive, and strangely, either one begets the other.From this, i know, playing music is not just some hobby that i'll run to after a hard day's work, nor is it something that i'll ever want to do under inebriation. To me, playing music is sacred. This means, i dont care if the music i make is heard by anyone else or not. The only thing that matters is the process of 'creation'...if i may even call it that. After all, any song of absolute music is either a note-re-organised,augmented or reduced version of any other song...and pithily, that's all there is to it. Yet, i find it so sacred and this i can't explain...yet.

There is more to how music and the human mind works. Any 'familiar' tune i listen to, 'brings back' memories of times when i first got familiar with it. This process of bringing back, transcends almost all barriers of time. I remember VERY vividly the colour of the sky and the 'setting sun' one evening, while i was listening to 'The Carpenters' at the age of Four. I remember at the age of Six, the warmth (or the lack thereof) of water during chilly Bangalore school-mornings when my Father religiously played those select few 'foreign' tapes accessible to a typical middle class family by means of relatives in distant lands. I remember at the age of Seven, playing at home with 'action figures', and my Mother returned from the market, carrying a brand-new, wrapped-up G.I. Joe Bike, while Konkani folk songs played-on in the background. I also remember at the age of Ten, observing how my Brother would lay back and read all those books while listening to tapes of Grammy Award artists of the 80s & 90s...tapes he procured by cajoling my folks...tapes that i owe my entire life in music to. I also remember at the age of Eighteen, falling in love head over heels, while The Beatles' "Abbey Road" and Queen's "Greatest Hits" spun like merry-go-rounds in my hormonally influenced mind.

In,through and out of all these memories, it was never the words/lyrics of a song that actually made me relate with the moment. It was always the 'tune'...the absolute music aspect of the song. This is what i cant explain. Further, it hurts that i can't explain something which evokes such emotions from me; Something that can drastically change my mood literally by the flick of a switch. Music has always been there, its presence shameless and very evident,but its purpose? ...always mysterious, clouded and often contradictory to whatever reason i could attribute. Like a puzzle, music has driven me on a search and has subsequently lead to a near rabid hunger for the answer. Though unrecognised at first, of late, it has reached a different level, both, with respect to the recognition and the intensity of the search. From what i recall, and what i figure, the first step i took towards this search, was inadvertently but undoubtedly, hours and hours of fooling around with my keyboard (also read piano). Hours and hours of playing songs...ANY song. I just wanted to play. I liked the sound, i loved how it made me feel. It generated a great sense of accomplishment to play a song that i heard on a 'professionally recorded tape', and to play it perfectly, 'JUST LIKE THAT'...hence the phrase 'tape-perfect'.
But, there is only so much you can do with playing someone else's song. You may bend it, twist it, shake it and even rock it... but it still isn't yours. The obvious next step is to reach a 'state' where you start playing whatever you feel; An accurate description of this act would be :

"Transcription of thought into art".

Towards this state, i have been inching , for the past few years. Mastery over this state will be, according to me the ultimate achievement. For accurate transcription of thought into art, should imply the reverse from anybody's senses and not just the creator's.

The only problem with this, is that step one lingers, and rather stubbornly. We will always get back into a phase of 're-living' those moments through the thought-transcriptions of others. Step one is also a nasty and easy way out to instill a pseudo sense of skill. I stand by this belief.

It is this feeling that drives me towards solving a problem: something i cant see, hold or worse, explain. For music which has meant so much to me, it is the least i can do: solve the problem.

Follow my art to the end of my dreams, and then even more.

I cant even fathom what happens after step two, but i sure will pen it down, if i figure it out someday. But, by the looks of it, not someday soon.

Over the last one year, i wrote music, toiled, gigged and 'made merry' with a band. I believed that as a band, this would lead to a permanent detachment from step one...it nearly did. Unfortunately, this belief did not sustain. A band, no matter how 'skilled', may need to compromise, and go through reaping the myriad plastic fruits of step one in order to move on to step two; but as long as step two is in the cross-hair, the band will be. Even the focus doesnt matter...its just the direction...'for now', so to speak. Sadly no such thing figured in the cross-hairs. Fame is pseudo and subject to current trends in society, whereas true recognition comes only through original contribution...Recognition does not necessarily imply fame, and according to most people, a band can't survive on recognition alone. As defined by most people, fame for a band is not just a thrill, but a necessity.

I don't define a band that way.

Which is why i am in pain.
Mostly self-inflicted.
Refusal to accept.

A little less, for a little more

2009-04-16T21:06:00.003+05:30

A college is incomplete without its certified ‘adda’. It could be the college canteen, the sports complex, the parking-lot or even the space beneath a shady tree. Sometimes, an adda may also be located off-campus, usually a stone’s throw away. Trees and snack-shacks are famous contenders for the coveted adda status. Still, the likelihood of any area to turn into an adda is always in direct proportion with its ‘Factor of Coziness’ (F.O.C) which includes numerous sub-factors, the important four being:

i) Close proximity to campus
ii) Adequate shade or cover from sun, rain and teaching faculty
iii) Convenient access to ‘snacks’
iv) A guaranteed supply of mint flavoured mouth fresheners

So, unless it’s cleverly engineered to bear REALLY special fruit, a tree fails on the account of a bad F.O.C. Therefore, the perfect adda would be a cross between a tree and a shack: natural, yet cosmetically convenient. ‘Dream on’ some may say, but it actually existed, no, thrived until a few weeks ago, right beside M.S.R.I.T.
‘The Little Shop’: Pretty much a shack that mysteriously seemed to sprout a tree from its roof!

Botanical travesty, Architectural blunder;
An unholy union between stone and wood,
“Raze it we shall” they exclaimed, “with axe and hammer”
“For some such thing’d do more harm than good.”

Good or bad, it existed. The scores of students who’ve passed by the tiled walls and walked on the wallpapered floors of ‘old’ M.S.R.I.T will certainly remember this sweet-sounding-shop; such memories mostly augmented by shades of slacker-student activities. Back in 1999, while still in the first year, I dreaded passing by the shop. One word: Ragging. Barring the occasional trip for some vague stationery item, the shop was off-limits for freshers. “Go there, and you’ll get ragged raaaa!!”. Horror stories would ensue, as any fresher dared to cross that line, in through the back gate. Ok, I may be exaggerating, a bit.

When it comes to ragging, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have skipped out on any ‘horror stories’ and even more so, to have been ragged mostly by a bunch of ‘mild’ seniors (Kowmi, if you’re reading this, we still love you). Back then in M.S.R.I.T, there were many nooks and crannies where a supple fresher (such as my 1999 self) could’ve been ragged. Fortunately for me, most of the seniors who ‘associated’ with me, in such times, were a part of the cul-team. Needless to say, I learnt a lot from them.

I remember one such place being above the old conference hall, above the old library. It was a place known only to a select few. A place with a view! The then highest point (nearly all puns intended) on campus. Looking down from there, you could see the entire expanse of M.S.R.I.T. Only, back then, you couldn’t see much except for green cover. Trees…and LOTS of them. There were other places such as the ‘Medical Canteen’ and a ‘snacks point’. Hardly addas, they were barely watering holes. Eventually, the medical canteen turned sour, policy-wise: ’Engineering students are banned from entering’. Ha! That’s ok, we didn’t need their ‘accidentally non-veg’ fried rice anyway.

Gradually, the trees disappeared. So did this ‘high-point’. Other structures came up, some near, some far. A food court, a nice little eatery near the dental college, and numerous joints for parantas, rolls, all around college. Still, none quite adda-like. Just low on the F.O.C. Tsk tsk!

Throughout this I noticed, the Little Shop stood out, and with each passing semester, as anti-ragging laws were enforced with growing rigour, the shop seemed little-er. What with more people crowding around, juniors and seniors, slackers and toppers, all alike. Like a ‘Woodstock’ of tea-time; only, almost all the time.
The Little Shop served as an ice-breaking venue of sorts (Not to forget, the indomitable Bhatt-re’s shop; which by the way, still stands). This continuous mingling of students from various semesters and streams of engineering is one of the many reasons why most graduates from M.S.R.I.T feel that ‘oneness’ with the institute.

A good educational institute has a distinct culture/mindset, and hence projects a unique ethos through its students. This culture/mindset, needless to say, needs to get passed on if it has to survive. Unless students across various semesters associate with each other, at a forum, fest, maybe a trivial party or even an adda, the feeling, culture/mindset will not propagate. Unfortunately, this ‘mingling’ is waning in recent times. We could owe it partially to stricter laws being enforced on campus. There are institutes choked by such rules, where, in the eye of ‘The MAN’, every student is capable of ‘crime’. Lesser degrees of freedom, especially in an educational institute can curb creativity, stunt intellectual growth and thereby thwart maturity. Fortunately, M.S.R.I.T still maintains the attitude it did a few years ago. “19A” is a testament to that attitude.

After attending Udbhav ’09, I was reminded of how it felt being a student in M.S.R.I.T. I miss those times… terribly! College has always been plagued by demolition and construction, and for years, that seemed to be the only continuity. You break some, to build some. The little shop is no more, but knowing M.S.R.I.T.ians, (and I’ve known more than my fair share) it won’t be long before a new adda is identified and set in place.

Botanical travesty, Architectural blunder;
An unholy union between stone and wood,
Amidst the fallen rocks and evident plunder
A lonely tree stands, where the shop once stood.

-Snehal Pinto
EEE, M.S.R.I.T (1999 to ∞)

*************************************************************

Submitted to '19A', M.S.R.I.T's hot lil e-mag. I dont know if they'll publish it or what... but i missed writing, and i finally wrote something after a long time... so.

Turn away the smoke, those questioning hands

2008-10-12T13:26:00.007+05:30

"Too many words,
Too many lies,
Too many seeds,
Too many cries,
Too many thoughts,
Too many lights,
Too many times too many. "
- Plan B, Thermal And A Quarter

One year since the last post. Lots has happened...some worth mentioning, some not. In a nutshell :

One failed masters degree,
gazillion lost follicles,
one hefty student loan,
and upon acquisition of a few fantastic people as friends later, I'm back home... ...back to square 1, or 17-19ish, IF you take into account the EXACT anatomical details of a snake's digestive system.

Talking about digestion, processing thoughts to translate into blog-worthy entries has been tough (yes, as minuscule as they may seem,i have standards too), because every attempt at prose, resulted in poetry...BAD poetry. More like a severe case of writer's block coupled with poet's diarrhea. Poetic Kakkus!

On the 'bright' side, if it could be called that... i'm working again (ALL puns intended) and how!
Its a rather new department, which means things are'nt as sorted out as they should be, which also means, i double up as lab-attender, instructor, evaluator and wise-ass... all being very important components of enhancing the 'lab experience'... talk about schizophrenia...No, YOU shut up!!

So on a nice sunny saturday morning, i set out to 'procure' components for the coming monday's experiments. Say hello to the filthy streets of S.P Road, Bengaluru (which ussshole changed the name?) First shop i entered, filled with students and regular folks, it seemed, at the risk of sounding elitist, as plebeian as it could be. Then amidst this, in walks a trio, three cute lil chik-dees... full, with bounce in step, glint in eye, and mint in cud-chewing mouths. I must admit, apart from the obvious sexist tone ringing from this, this was not a scene you'd encounter regularly at an electronic component shop in S.P road... ie: a couple of fair-sexed engineering (i suppose)kids braving SP road junta and stepping into a nasty shop, to buy resistors and LEDs...'Wooh' i say, nice to see the love for electronics spreading.

It's ok that they were chirpy, and jumpy and made a huge ruckus in an already chaotic shop. It's also ok that they cut the line, and asked for their 'stuff' without caring for the rest who have been waiting (read 'Me'). It's also ok that they asked for a wide range of resistances, because they didnt want to bother about the exact values. But my marbles went into hyper-spin-twist mode when they asked for specifically the 'green' resistors, the lower power-rated kind .... for a moment i thought...

'Wow, these chicks want 1/4 watt rated resistors, perhaps for low power applications and for a compact feel to their overall circuit design....maybe its a low power micro-controller based...' When all of a sudden, while lost in my thought, i heard the shop keeper mutter 'INDUCTOR... that's a lil more expensive'

Completely piqued by now, about exactly WHICH circuit these chilli-pillies had in mind, i spiraled into further half-baked technical thoughts

'... perhaps its a tuned circuit, a filter of sorts...'

and i would've gone on thinking unless i heard this :

"...This will go well with the green salwaar..."

If i could recreate a screechy sound of a Long-Playing gramophone record being short-stopped, i would, here, at this point, when i heard those words.Also, noticing that the inductors and resistors had something in common... they were all green.

Upon further shameless eavesdropping, i discovered they were building a bracelet.... a green bracelet of resistors. WTF man!!?! How that bubble burst! Anyway, my 'teacher instinct' kicked into high gear, when i decided to tell them that zener diodes might help beautify their ornaments. However, i decided to cork my pie-hole, and let my partially numbed mind heal itself instead.

Still, a project's a project, i say. Electronic or otherwise. The purpose of any object is rarely justified by just its intended use. Sometimes i feel, art itself supersedes all else. The purpose of science and technology is just to further means to optimise enjoyment of the Arts. And then again, any field is an art by itself... sigh*

So i'm back now.... lots of figuring out to do. Lots of things to catch up on. Fortunately, i'm surrounded by people who care.
More soon, on music and other developments.

Subject: Re: Details about macbook.

2007-10-31T10:59:00.000+05:30

OK! This one was long overdue...
James is supposedly a Nigerian, trying to sell a mac-book... to me. I am NOT making all this up. I found this info, about a MacBook going dirt cheap. I was, at that time, unfamiliar with popular 'Nigerian Scams'.

Anyway, this is an e-mail conversation between con-man James and me, all of which took place within a day...a few hours actually.
No editing of text... just reversal of order...ashtey.

*******************************************************************

Date: Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:35:06 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com
To: jamesbent2@hotmail.com
Subject: Details about macbook.

Hey,
Macbook pro for 1000 SGD ?? really ?
Can i have some more details please ?
Thanks
Snehal

---***---
On 8/17/07, James Bent < jamesbent2@hotmail.com > wrote:

Hello Snehal,

Thanks for your email.
The 17" Apple Macbook Pro laptop is brand new and still sealed in the box. Comes with two years warranty. It cost $1000SGD and the shipping cost is $100SGD.
So the total cost is $1100SGD.
Specificationsfor the 17" Apple macbook laptop include
Processor: 2.4GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
Memory: 2GB
Hard drive: 120GB
Internal Slots: DVD/RW
4 USB ports
Serial no. MA092LL/A
To place your order, email back with the follwoing informations.
1. Your full name
2. your shipping address in detail
3. Your Phone Number
As soon as the above informations are received, the laptop will be packaged and ready for shipment to you.
Delivery will take max. of 2 days(48hrs)
Shipping is via UPS.
Payment is through western union money transfer.
Thanks.
Reply.
James Bent
Electronics Solution Inc.
25 Lekki Express way, Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria.
Tel: +2348087***249
Registration No. 708***14

***---***
Ok Champa... sounds good, but I smell that dead fish in your pocket. Still, since you patiently replied, (to eventually take my money of course) I will return the favour. You do what you have to; just wont let you steal from me.
***---***

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:32:47 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com

Hi James,
I regret to inform you, i wont be going in for the offer. I already managed to buy a second hand notebook which i could test out first hand.
Thanks for your time.
Regards
Snehal

***---***
There... that was polite, i guess. He wants to steal? thats fine. I'm not preaching to anybody.
***---***

On 8/17/07, James Bent > wrote:

Oh ok.
But i can give you a discount.
Electronics Solution Inc.
25 Lekki Ex.....
.......

***---***

Well... the plot thickens.

***---***
Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:25:23 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com

Oh thanks! but i'm not really looking to bargain. Your price is already fantastic. Actually, I'm paying a few dollars more for this second hand laptop. Its just that, i wanted to test anything BEFORE i bought it. Also, i thought you were operating locally. nevermind. Too bad i'm not from Nigeria.
Anyway, ive already spent my cash :)
thanks and rgds
Snehal

---***---

On 8/17/07, James Bent > wrote:

Ours is Brand new in the pack, with complete accessories.
oK lets do it this way. For a start.
Pay for just shipping cost, and when you get the Mac Book, and have tested it, you can the pay the rest.
Thanks
Await your reply.
James Bent.
Electronics Solution Inc.

***---***

Ooookay, sister.... lets play!

***---***

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:38:39 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com

oh man! :0)
this is really tempting... but i've already spent my money. However, if you are willing, i could buy it for a friend. If you could send it over, i'll test it, ( and since you are confident that its fine, because its in the original package you dont have anything to worry about) After i test it, i'll wire the cost+shipping plus 10%
thats 1000+100+110 (extra) roughly 1200 SGD ... but AFTER i receive the package.
Regards,
Snehal

---***---

On 8/17/07, James Bent > wrote:

Ok great.
But there is one little problem here.
Its company policy that atleast a form of payment must be tendered before shipment is carried out.
What i mean is that, payment must be confirmed first , no matter how small before shipment commences.
Thats why i asked you to pay for just the shipping fee, which is $100SGD.
And when you recive the Mac Book, you can then send the rest of the money.
We do this, so that we can atleast be sure that the customer is for real.
Hope you understand what i mean?
So now i will like you to send me your full shipping address, and telephone number so that your Mac Book can be immediately packaged to be ready for shipment.
Thanks
Await your reply
James Bent
Elect......-

***---***

Naaaice... address, phone number... how about my grannie's panties too?
Ok...no more interruptions...at least for a bit.

n'akkansisya!!!

***---***

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:55:48 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com

hey James,
I agree with your policy. but if i'm going to pay via a WU transfer, i'll also need some assurance. Which is why i suggested that you take 10 %. Maybe even 20 %. (Since i'll be selling this piece for a profit.) But AFTER i receive the unit. You can use your shipping partners to confirm my address and identification. I'll produce all my identification papers to the shipping partner, once i receive the unit (and fax address proof and details to you too). That includes my passport details, Citizenship staus, and current adress proof. But, AFTER i receive the unit.
Thanks again.
Snehal

---***---

On 8/17/07, James Bent < jamesbent2@hotmail.com > wrote:

Thanks for your mail,
Oh i see what you are saying now.
Are you talking about the Western union charges.
If thats the case, you can take the western union charges from the $100 to be sent.
Like i said before, its policy that payment must be confirmed first no matter how small.
So now i will like you to send me your full shipping address, and telephone number so that your Mac Book can be immediately packaged to be ready for shipment.
Thanks
Await your reply
James Bent
Electronics Solution Inc.

---***----

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:05:39 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com

Since its your policy that i send a sum, no matter how small, is it ok if i transfer 10 SGD... just to start with... just to prove i'm for real.

---***---

On 8/17/07, James Bent wrote:

Yes no matter how small.
But you know $10SGD is just too small.
Its not even up 10USD.
I was hoping that you will send may be $80SGD.
Thanks
Reply now
James Bent.
Electronics Solution Inc.

***---***

Oh Har! and Har! too small eh? Policy my ARSE! fakkin smegma-breathed leech! From 1100 to 100, and now 80... how low will he go?

***---***

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:16:31 +0800
From: snehalpin.....

well.. thats a very lax policy then.... right now... i can afford only that much. Do let me know if you can work with that. ie : 10SGD. After all, all you need to know is if i'm for real.
I mean, dont get me wrong. What assurance do i have that you wont get back to me after i transfer that 'small' amount ? Of course.. i mean it in no derogatory sense... just a precautionary measure. Do understand. Long story short... i can afford to invest 10 SGD to prove i'm for real, to someone i dont know, regardless of the outcome.
Thanks

---***---

On 8/17/07, James Bent wrote:

Thanks for your mail,
I know you can afford the $80SGD.
And dont you think that we have tried for you.
You are buying an item worth $1100SGD.
And we just want you to send $80SGD for a start.
God thats good enough if you ask me.
And about assurance, you have nothing to worry about as you are dealing with a legitimate company.
To prove that to you, here a reference.
Hes from the UK. He bought 10 units of the Mac Book from us Last week.
His name is Scott Wuhrer
And here is his number
+4470****5758
You can call him and ask about about the Mac Book and our services too
After that send me an email ok.
I will be expecting your mail.
Thanks
Await your reply
James Bent.
Electronics Solution Inc.

***---***

oooOOoo...'tried for you', 'good enough', Credibility check... using big words he doesn't understand; is'nt he cute?!?

***---***

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:34:07 +0800
From: sneh...

well... i'm not asking you to bend your comapny policy. really. And since the purpose of receiveing an initial amount is just to ascertain my credibility, why dont you take a small amount? since i'll any way be paying the larger amount upon delivery. Honestly, i can afford the 80 SGD. but i am skeptical. Call me stingy, but thats how i prefer to do business. I will pay you. and you have my FULL 10 SGD as a credibility check. credibility can be checked no matter if its 10, 80 or even 800 SGD. So, i'll send you 10. But you send me the unit.. i'll pay you the rest AND a 10 % extra fee, for all this rigmarole i made you go through with.
Warm Regards.
Snehal

---***---

On 8/17/07, James Bent wrote:

Now let me ask you a question.
If you were us, and i was you.
And i wanted to purchase an item worth of $1200.
And i want to pay $10 upfront, will you agree to that?
The money is just too little.
Think about.
Whats the difference of $10 and $80. Its not much.
So why cant you just pay that , and when you get the package, you can then send the rest of the money.
And besides , i already gave you guarantee already.
Did you call Scott, to ask him about our services?
Thanks
Await your reply
James Bent.
Electronics Solution Inc.

***---***

Oh! oh! here it comes... aim, lock ....

***---***

Date: Fri, 17 Aug 2007 23:54:58 +0800
From: snehalpinto@gmail.com
To: jamesbent2@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Details about macbook.

10 $ isnt too different from 80?? hmmm...then why dont you accept 10bucks???
And if I were you, and you were me (like they were he and john Lenon was the Walrus)
I would'nt accept cash only through WU. I would setup a better portal, to accept cash. But i'm not you, and you are not me. (and they are not he, and John Lenon was not the Walrus... the Walrus was Paul.)
And WHO is SCOTT?? why should i care? really.... how can i believe HIS word? What is this? is this some scam? can i see a website of some sort? Please!
I've had enough. You're DARN right that the money's too little. Because the scam's just not worth it!
Dont ask me for my address, DONT ask me for my phone number, Dont contact me again. And, YOU think about what you're doing.... really... its not right. I politely declined once... but you tried enticing me with silly offers.... shameful!
This is my last email to you. Please dont try to convince me anymore.I find all that you've offered so far to be outrageously unbelievable. So, thanks for the entertainment. I dont intend to waste anymore of my time, or yours... but mainly mine.
Have a nice life!
Sweet, Warm Regards
Snehal

***---***

...aaaahh... wooh! I'm SO spent, baby...rolling off now.

***---***
On 8/17/07, James Bent wrote:

Thanks for your mail,
Such words coming out from you.
I was just trying to be a sales man, if you ask me, thats what sales men do.
We try to get more customers.
I am sorry if i have offended you. And i will not send you any other email again.

Bye.

Electronics Solution Inc.

*******************************************************************

Aaaaw... c'mon sweety, don't be that way...
"I was just trying to be a sales man".

Woooh! yes, SURE you were.HORRBIAATCH! In the words of Mr.Mani... get some Spiritual healing.

I really would've sent the 10 bucks... if he'd called my bluff... it would've been worth it.

Needless to say, since that day, my mailbox has been brimming with mails of penile size increase tips...'spam for my ham'... Nice!
Did you know 'Extenze' can give you 4 inches to...... *sigh*

Beatle it out...

2007-09-08T08:48:00.000+05:30

Part 1 : Before Time

I saw her standing there.
She said, "Do you want to know a secret?"
I said, I want to hold your hand.
I knew she had a ticket to ride, so i decided to act naturally.
"Its only love, and you like me too much"
Oh Darling,But I want you. Love me do... even when i'm 64?
"I will, but you got to hide your love away"
And I love her.
We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying.

Part 2 : Suspended Animation

We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying.

We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying.

She said, "Help! Dr. Robert!!"
But, we never come together!
"Baby its you! Call Dr. Robert....Wait... I feel fine...and your bird can sing now."

We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying. Oh, yesterday.

Part 3 : Agonising Ecstasy

Tell me what you see...
"A long, long, long, long and winding road and a nowhere man"
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, then...
"Oh darling, but I want you"

We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying. Oh, yesterday.

G O O D D A Y S U N S H I N E

Baby! you're a rich (wo)man !
"I'm so tired, pass me my Savoy Truffle!"
Sure, Honey pie.

We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying. Oh, yesterday.

B L U E J A Y W A Y

"Babe, the two of us, got to carry that weight, across the universe"
But, I'm only sleeping...
"Babe! I'm looking through you... you're here, there and everywhere!"
But, I'm only sleeping...
"No.9, No.9, No.9 No.9"

But still, We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying.

D I Z Z Y M I S S L I Z Z Y

"You never give me your MONEY!!"
But, I'm only sleeping...
"The Taxman, wont tolerate your helter skelter way"
What goes on???
She said,"SHE said... MONEY... thats what i want"
Help!

But still, We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying.

"Think for yourself, or you won't see me."
but babe, all you need is love
"No,I dont intend to live on penny lane"
(well, she IS a woman, and I wanna be her man).
"Theres a place...."
Where two of us can be?
"--no reply--"
OK, I'll follow the sun. But babe, dont let me down.
"I will... not"

And again, We'd twist and shout, get a taste of honey and be flying.

Part 4 : Decay and De-value

T H E M A G I C A L M Y S T E R Y T O U R !

I've got a feeling, Misery. Love, ..love me do.
"I will"
Oh!Darling
"Let it be"

oh Darling?
"--no reply--"
misery...

Girl??
"--no reply--"

good night, good morning, good morning, goodnight
"--no reply--"

oh, yesterday.

O N L Y A N O R T H E R N S O N G

"...You may think the chords are going wrong,
But they're not
He just wrote it like that"

.. "Hey..."
BABE!
"You're a day tripper"
I'm a loser?
"something..."
someother guy?
"Rich man... rich"
I'm gonna sit right down and cry
"I'll be on my way"
Hello? "Goodbye"

***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***---***

I Saw her standing there... I should have known better...

2007-09-05T14:04:00.000+05:30

bitch.

Moving mountains is easy...

2007-03-04T05:23:00.000+05:30

Journeys are interesting, whatever they maybe, however imposed, in retrospect always interesting. Largely, we choose where we go; doesnt matter if your Daddy's got a car, a scooter or a truck... man want to go, man will go... child dont want to go, gets two on its bum-bum, and will be forced to go. Tough.

Most journeys however, end up being ignored and earn an almost non-existential place in the pool of greys; that cesspit-styled, culturedly volatile, relentlessly ablutionary place... phew! In non-wiki-folks terms, easily forgotten. Mr.Mani says/quotes :

"Brevity is the soul of humour"

... I'm in short supply of all three.

Rapidly dwindling memory pools notwithstanding, some journeys migrate to mindly havens, replete with exaggeration and sometimes displaced in time... we are progressive. (disclaimer)

This is about one of those 'journeys'.

Take :
1 Swaraj Mazda
1 Rock Band
1 Rock Band Manager
7 Roadies/groupies/free-loaders
1 'Out-station' show
1 Long and winding road (bumpy too)

My first 'tour' with the band, also my first experience of being part of the headlining act! What thirrlls i say! Loaded with whiskey for the booze-partees, and Orbits... for me, we set forth... of course, not before Jungle Boy took a nice dump, while sadly, S.Yacoulb, the enormous homophobe, didnt. This partially set a 'drone' for most of the journey ...

S.Yacoulb : "I want to do kakka"

... nice.

While the booze-partees were getting drunk, I was getting queasy. Bus journeys are not for the weak of stomach. Enter orbit. Chewing gum helped prevent me from decorating the insides of the mazda with last night's dinner. So, i slumped in the back-most seat, menky-cap et al, ears protected from wind, while the baais made merry, and S.Yacoulb droned on; Annoyance Galore Inc.

Bad roads, pop songs, air laced with whiskey burps and nicotine, and the relentless drone of excretory yen. All summed-up to a soul filling experience of my first time.. . that is, travelling with the band. Made me wonder, is this what the "rock'n'roll", 'Band Scene' is about?

Smoke, booze and bad jokes..
Bumpy roads, queasiness and diesel fumes..
Long hair, tatoos and red-brassieres...

Most certainly NOT!... not red bras atleast... that was just S.Yacoulb at her prime.

Just when I felt my overbearing thoughts push me further into skepticism towards the whole 'Band' scene, amidst all that smoke, music and confusion, it happened... pragmatically magical, surreally lifelike...

...we all started singing. Just like that...

Time-out here, to refer a 'similar' scene from one of my all time favourites, "Almost Famous". That scene in the bus, where Russel Hammond, the lead guitarist, now wrapped in a towel, settles in after a night of flight. And Elton John's "Tiny dancer" sets in...

..as do the voices of everyone aboard, gradually.

Back to my story; we didnt sing Elton John. It was "Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi, but what the hell...
It was pretty much like that... and yes, it was GOOD! It was a bonding of sorts, a 'come together'... right now, our own Lucy in the sky with diamonds, space truckin' across the universe.

With all our voices weaving complex overtones and harmonics of unrestrained cacophany, I felt like it was ALWAYS like this;

I was, am and will be here.

Thats what a 'Rock Band' is about... that feeling of allegiance, not in a jingoist sense, no. Its just good to be part of a tale; any part, even the tail.

Its good to belong.

Holy Bitches' Bazookas Batman, its the IRRELEVANT RACIST!!

2007-02-12T18:08:00.000+05:30

Do you remember Robin? yes... Robin... the yellow-tight'd , black eye-masked, red vested -- green sleeved, 'oxford' hairstyled with kakka loads of mousse, *deeep breath* , diplomatic profanity shouting, loud mouthed.... waitaminut, what do i have against Robin? poor, sweet, orphan Robin... short, caped, just missed the ballerina squad Robin.... Mister 'look-at-me-i-can-fight' Robin... ROBIN.... I HATE ROBIN.. actually, i hate side kicks... lackeys, sycophants... reason : increase of conversation during moments of triumph...

"Holy Smokes BATMAN!" -- "Holy Teeth Batman! look out for that axe" - -
"Holy 'holy' chanting lackey side-kicks Batman!" "Holy..." OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!! BASTARDBITCHSLUTCORNHOLED........ SHADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!.....

phew! glad i got that out ... its good to have torrets once in a while (yes i know Robin.. i too, sense the redundancy... so, BAIMUCHKONINNAJJISHAATAHODILAUDEYKABAAL!!)

Verbal diarrhoea apart, its a piss-off when someone keeps talking INTENTIONALLY during something important... whether it be at a 'save the world from racoon-masked hooligans' day, or something as mundane as class.... and i'm not talking about while i'm taking a class... i mean, as a student, sitting in close proximity to certain junta from the right-bottomed coast line of India. I've heard women talk... and its nice... annoying, but nice nonetheless. However, try sitting around 'mudhuh-teng' speaking, class-interrupting, perpetually confused and 'muttery' mouthed MEN!
POLESMOKINBUTTRAMMEDFUDGEPACKERS!!!!!! ...bleddy...

No.. not simple, succinct dialogues like : 'pass me the calci' ; 'giuew me the rubbar' ;
' Sign-off Selva's name aalsow da' ... nooo, instead... prolonged, monotoned, low pitched pitter-patterish incomprehensible dribble, that resemble the audal character of a potato-fed cricket's gastric emission ... and to say nothing about the smell!

This staunch display of outright disrespect BANG in the middle of a lecture, can be prettty humiliating, NOT to the assmunchingtongueflexers , but instead, to those who hail from the same country.... quelle chagrin mon ami! Yes indeedy, every time 'that' section of the class' decibel level rises... and i MEAN rises... heads turn, throats turn parch, brows frown, butts shift... and yet, they go on yakking.... not even the holocaust would tear them apart...

"Say, whats that loud noise?? - - AaahNevermind lah ... then, after he said.... "

BLOODY BITCHES' BAZOOKAS BATMAN!!! DO SOMETHING!

Nope, no hope.... they'll graduate, with their well oiled kapi gulping pie holes, continuing to drench the rest of us in their mind-numbing dribble, and typecast us as a cult of uncouth, toddler-attention spanned motor-mouthed tribal hooligans... yeesh! too much hatred!

On the other hand, which btw, isnt so full of shit.... I have recently acquired a motor Bike! yes... nice 200 CC, 18(?) BHP , Honda Phantom.... yes, EXACTLY my kinda super hero, no super powers except brute strength and 'Tiger-buddhi', has a side kick that doesnt talk(!!) , and whose arrival is always preceeded by drum rolls... of course, just plain drum rolls to the 'naked' ear. But armed with a babel fish, we'd all know what the Pygmie Bandar were beating away to... no wait, that didnt quite sound right...ah BOLLOCKS!

I miss The Phantom; among most super heroes, this guy COULD actually exist! Think about it.. house in the jungle, gorilla for a friend, Pygmies (with poisonned arrows!!) as patrons... WOW... I'd like to BE him! and the suit!! man! what can be sexier than Purple?? NOTHING! The suit's actually required for the gun-holster.... those magnifcent semi-automatics! Its not a knife after all, much unlike Lord Greystroke a.k.a TARZAN of the apes! YOWZA! He was good, but no Phantom, certainly no 'Ghost who walks cannot die'. Man, Tarzan had some weird sense of fashion... the number of leopard deaths, just to stock up the Lord's wardrobe... last heard, Lord Greystroke had undie habbits akin to a certain Boy-band drop-out, actress dating, Jacko dance-move-copying, piss-ass 'singer'.... this, certainly exacerbated the ill-feelings of the leopard populace of a certain coastal region of Africa,( more because of the increasing resemblance to the afore-mentioned 'pop' star )... and led to a very gruesome death of the Lord... may his soul rest in peace.

Now where were we?? ah yes... Bike!

The Phantom also rides a bike... way cooler than an elephant, and for many reasons...

* A bike handles well
* A bike doesnt stop to take a piss near its favourite mountain
* A bike doesnt HAVE a favourite mountain
* A bike doesnt want to charge another bike if its hitting on some other bike
* A bike doesnt have its balls where its brains should be

Anyway, about my ride...

Here it is :

Sweet lil honey... hope it doesnt act up on an expressway!

I know most men prefer to append a 'she' to their bikes.... not me sir, A bike is NO WAY like a woman!

* A bike handles well
* A bike doesnt need to hang out with other bikes and talk about their respective 'riders'
* A bike doesnt compare genitalia details of its rider with other bikes
* A bike doesnt ask for flowers
* A bike doesnt want to charge at you, if you look at other bikes' bottoms

Must i go on? Well, bikes are known to be more dependable than women anyway, so there..... Theres that sexist feeling again.... .....Go nads!!!

Aaaw....

2006-10-25T09:05:00.000+05:30

"Nishu Darling,

It takes little time to digest that our little champ wielding toyguns of multiple sizes from KAVERI to KAMATH NIVAS has scored a quarter century credittably.At this stage we still remain your proud parents snatching a square share of joy in your fulfilment and accomplishment in every sphere of your discovery of skills,talents and yet to be explored latent potentials.

May your future endeavours bring you all the success and good fortune you deserve. We know you are strong and a DETERMINED YOU. You have proved it at your music,at your teaching at your silent counselling. Kick start your future with the best foot forward,upholding your faith and values and rest assured your dreams will come true because we are with you

Fond love and God's. blessings to you on this great day, your specal BIRTHDAY.

with lots of love'
MUM and DAD "

Ah! Parents!

Emotional Transgressions....

2006-10-20T04:49:00.000+05:30

It's really funny how a dream makes you want to write.... I started blogging because of a dream i had.... and I'm back again because of ANOTHER dream.... something that spawns over mud-wrestling and getting caught at home, with a chick in your bed... dreams... what can I say? hear more of mine and you'll be clearing out your insides PRETTY soon......

A LOT has changed since my last post. I'm neither where i used to be, nor WHO, nor with who i prefer being.... *sniff* I can go on cribbing.... and hey! thats EXACTLY what i'm gonna do!

Being in a new place, tends to screw up the head thoroughly! I'm quite sure I'm a certified racist! I cant help but judge the people around me. Judge them on their attitude, their language, their mannerisms, their....almost everything. And apart from judge, I'm beginning to dislike them...... who 'them' ? nearly all of them! Yep! I'm getting that Hitler-ish feeling..... extreme Lau for one's race. So, I LAU my race..... but what IS my race? I really dont know.... for now.... i could say... anything but Chinese.... man thats racist.... but i've established that already....so, moving on.....

At home, i've mingled with so many kinds of people..... people who speak different languages, celebrate different festivals, have hazaar varied religious customs... then what is it about one race here... that totally PISSES me off??
Why is it that i get pissed when i have to repeat myself here? I used to do that almost all the time back home... but here.... no! its THEM! THEY HATE ME!
Why is it that I'm always 'on-guard' and crazily wary of someone discriminating against me?

ALL IN THE HEAD! all in the friggin head! Nobody's against me... nobody's out to get me (at least none that I know of....) They just are like that.... dont like to look around.... like to give people their space... or do they? or am i just rambling on about weird delusional conspiracy theories.... you BET I am! Lets get onto more serious things....

One of my students asked me.... "...how are the 'chicks' there " ..... truly I say to thee...."Seen one...seen them all" ... No, really.... seen one....and you've ACTUALLY seen them all..... now THATS racist! Racist to the CORE! Either racist or my disability to distinguish between the oriental women....and many times, men too.... Picture this.....
You're sitting in a bus, and someone sits next to you....on your right.... then somebody else sits next to you... on your left.... and being Indian,( sheessh...theres that racist hum again....) I have to look around... so... what do i see? someone on my right.... someone on my left.... except that its the same someone on my right, with different clothes.... " were'nt you just...?"-- Then I look in front of me... WOWZA! same! move ahead.... ready to step off the bus... glance at the driver.... fingers crossed, eyes crinched, toes curled.... yeah! one BIG eye roll.... SAME!!! They're really out to get me!

This is really not funny, atleast to those who may find it..... I grew up, considering myself a reasonable person, with certain values and beliefs... neutralistic in opinions and views. But this just bundles my conscience into a tiny lil bag and rattles it around my empty skull till my mind tells me....

"You're a Fuckin RACIST bastard!!"

Wonder what my soul was doing the whole time....

As I see it, racism is a product of frustration, stubborn dejection and Ego!

yes.... ACTUALLY a product...so...

FRUSTRATION x STUBBORN DEJECTION x EGO

actually, more a convoluted product.... so....

FRUSTRATION * STUBBORN DEJECTION * EGO

See.... racism cannot exist with any of the above quantities (or qualities...same thing) being Zero....

Hopefully, I'll be able to throw more light on the above three.... not right away though...... yeah.... you can run, but you cant hide! or you can move the mouse to the lil 'x' mark on the top right corner of the page and click it... or click once on the page and press Alt+F4...that should do it.

So what made me obtain the 3 charms? Quite a few factors.... but one strong factor to begin with....

was THIS :

Just another day in a bachelor's filthy kitchen... I'm washing.... la-dee-da...

Cool tap....eeed'nt it???

Now WAIT-A-MINUT!!....what DO we have here??

Is it some curd ?

or is it some stain ?

its.... its....

...What the--?

Yep! Exactly.... " What the -- " only!

When the pictures built by your mind get blown to gad-zillion lil pieces by the harsh reality that surrounds it, dejection projects its magnificent shadow and takes you under its wing, where-in it can crap on your mind and fill your empty head with its flatulent produce.

... in other words...

... shit on your thoughts and fart in your head!

Wonder what your soul does at that time...

A wise person once said...

"Never hold your farts in.... because, then it travels up, all the way into your head... and thats when SHITTY thoughts occur"

How true! how PROFOUND and true!

I'll be back soon.... more updates on life, reason and beyond.

The return of Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt...

2006-03-14T19:39:00.000+05:30

Hair is a very touchy issue.....lack of it,can lead you to extremes of depression, depending on how shallow you are... or does shallowness matter?
Just a few years ago, it was there, now its depleting....few years from now, it will be gone, and one immediately starts 'opto-communication' directly with the sun, through the top of one's head!

'opto-communication' is a term coined by Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt.... no prizes for guessing....
Its the process of reflecting back those rays of the sun, from the top of one's head, which are directly incident on the top of one's head... kinks may arise, especially in the ratio of reflection to reception.... depending on the number of dents,stitches,etc present on one's scalp before or after baldness...
Anycase, baldness is more a mental than a physical ailment, the latter being more obvious.

Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt, truly believes that once a man starts losing hair, nothing can save him...Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt is bald too.... but he's happy.... he just tries to stick to his corrolaries and avoid excessive facial hair.... its like this....hair has a very nice migratory pattern...

When I was 17, I badly wanted a frenchy.... thats a "french beard", and not a famous undergarment-brand's sub-product. The hair on my head was quite fine then, but the frenchy hardly took recognizable form... at one point, I think I must have secretly wished for some of my "head-hair" to "migrate" to my face.... BINGO that was the mistake....cliched sayings prop up...
"Be careful what you wish for"
"a wish once made cannot be undone"
"Dont bite more than you can chew"...ummm well ok cliched, not appropriate....
but this is exactly whats happening... its like hair saying
"Make way...we're moving south forever".....ridiculous!!!

The worst part is the transition from hair to bare....
It starts with you being able to see more of your scalp, at the sides, front, top, through your hair...anycase....

SIGN No.1 : Higher scalp visibility

Next, an overt sense of the weather.... its like the opening/ revealing of a 6th sense..."Its soo bleddy hot today "(wiping partially bald,sweaty scalp with 'hanky')
"Its very cold...I need a 'menkey' cap" (feeling extreme warmth AFTER covering head)

Therfore, SIGN No.2 : Higher weather adjudgeability

Next, ever heard of the expression "Lights up the room with his presence" apart from being a tubelight, you could also be bald and achieve the same effect.... ( not the effect of being stupid n bright at the same time) See, Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's laws of "Luminous Intensity in domestic dwellings" can throw some light on the matter (no pun intended)...
Law 1 states.... "The ceiling of a room is its most reflective surface"
corollary of law 1... "The ceiling of a room is its most reflective surface, till a bald man walks in"

A soon followed 'sub-law' from this, which earned Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt a lot of moolah was : "Why buy 3 bulbs when you can make do with just 2 and a baldy"
This resulted in Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt recieving a lot of party invites. Bulbs were an expensive affair in those days, and hence, a bald man was always welcome.
[This also led to heated arguments between Mr.Edison and Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt.]
Well, that brings us to ....
SIGN No.3 : Automatically brightning of rooms

Finally, the definite give away is the consistent stares of people.... its lovely, you learn so much about human nature...actually just one thing in particular.... "Everyone's curiosity is piqued by a balding scalp"
People LOVE to "look into" a balding scalp....its worse than staring at cleavage, at least with cleaveage,you have an excuse...well... :D
But balding scalps....well, when you see one, you just have to look!!!
certain thoughts that circulate....
"ummm... I wonder how soon he'll lose ALL of it"
"ummm... I wonder how many 'hairs' he has left"
"DOES'NT HE HAVE ANY SHAME??? leering at my chest,BASTARD...ummmm he's going bald...heheh!....BASTARD....STOP LETCHING!!!"

Though Thoughts...cant hurt you, they are thoughts none the less... but its the eyes that can pierce.... oh yeah! if i had a rupee for the number of times people have 'overtly' observed my balding scalp.....

Baby you're a RICH man!
Baby you're a RICH man!

Well, too bad, nobody's paying me for that...
Its even worse if you're short! people will definitely pay a 'glance' toward the top of your head.... its like.... "Look now,when you have a chance... years later, there will be TOO much of light reflecting off it!"

SIGN No.4 : Obsessively Scalp oriented eyeballs

So whats the way out?? NOTHING.... you're going bald? thats a one way road machha! No coming back!

well you could try and exploit the migratory nature of hair, and grow some on your face...at the price of deeming your self as a "lesser evolved being".... I would suggest a soul patch....works fine...defined as
"A small growth of hair, just below the lower lip and just above the chin"
Facial hair can unfailingly divert attention from a balding scalp.... you could even try sticking lil pieces of bread or 'roti' in facial hair, and notice AMAZING results... its obvious...
"Balding scalp v/s Food bits in goatee/moustache"
HA! Bald scalp will suffer a horrible loss, thus realising primary objective of attention elusion.

To end with, a nice limerick by Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt :

There once was a lecturer in M.S.R.I.T
Whom, a few girls considered a 'cutie'
When their poems they read,
He scornfully said
"Watch it missies, its a 'soul patch', not a goatee"

Works for me!

Bin-uh-Laaaung taime since we Rock'n'Rolled!!!

2006-02-11T10:10:00.000+05:30

Three long months! During which,LOTS has happened. actually, not much.... just felt like saying that. Losing many things, hair, more specifically, but more on that later. The semester's over, all exams done, finished with exam duties.... invigilating SUCKS ASS!!!!! Forget music,they wont even let you carry a book! THREE long hours watching students write! But every once in a while, theres entertainment. Feels great to threaten a student....hehehhe *evil laugh* Some of them can be quite stupid! Its like they're in some imaginary universe,apparently where in, room invigilators are nothing more than nothing.... yeah, that says enough.

I've noticed this trend; Inter-Universal-truckin, mainly among first year students. They dont really know how bad the VTU squad can be, wait, let me rephrase.... they dont know that most VTU sqaud members suffer from "CHRONIC ARSE MINDEDNESS" or otherwise, fondly known as "Ed-ZACHERY" disease (for the un-initiated.... "That state, when patient's face looks 'Ed-Zachery' like patient's arse). I love to go near a potential "space trucker" and threaten him.... see, apart from the regular space for the room invigilator's signature, theres this lil box on the student's answer booklet, which reads :"To be signed by Chief Superintendent during time of MALPRACTICE" .....TA-DA!!! So, when i notice them trying to get all owl-eyed, I tell them, pointing to that section on their bookelt, in soft whispers.... "You know, theres another place where i can sign..." ..... SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!!!!
I think its the word "MALPRACTICE"...sounds very threatening!

Eventhough I know they're trying some shit-like stunt, especially during the university exams, I dont go beyond "scaring" them. Most of who are stupid enough to TRY copying during university exams, are usually quite nervous and scared. A smple warning would do. But try telling the squad that.... firstly... more about the squad.

Picture this, A hot march afternoon, long empty road, preferrably a stretch on the bangalore-mysore highway, maybe just one tree, in the distance... nothing but HOT, HOT, TRES-HOT SUN, burning into the asphalt.... somewhere in the 3rd quartile of the lateral side of the road, a parched, road-fused,festering human turd... Thats your basic squad..... whose members are just variants of dried up desert turds.

"My, my Pintu saar..... why such staunch hatred ?" might you say,
The depths of my psyche, beckons you to, who knows,....foray?
I'm a poet , and I dont know-et! ....."laayk-laayk"

But true in every sense, most of the squad guys are nothing but turds. Its painful to know that some people take pleasure in FAILING a student, for no apparent reason. And this I have witnessed first hand! The bastard "caught" and "booked" a student under "malpractice", just because he had a teeny lil phone book in his pocket... was it wrong to have a phone book in your pocket while answering an exam? Yep it was! And stupid too.... Upon finding such "objects" with students,

If you're a normal person, you would :

1. Check the book for any chits or formulas
2. Warn the student
3. Collect the book and hand it over to the Room invigilator
4. Leave silently (Nooo pun intended)

But if you're a squad guy... you would :

1. Check the book for any chits or formulas
2. Let out a low growl of happiness, signifying new-found prey
3. Do a lil victory dance
4. Shout out weird noises in short bursts, signalling to other turd
munching squad members around the vicinity.
5. Catch the poor student by the collar and make a bee line to the Princi's
office and exclaim with near-orgasmic faces..."Look what WE found...saaar!"

Not to be mistaken, that the squad works with the Princi... the squad is not even part of the college, its a conglomerate of pieces of shit from various colleges in the state. As a matter of fact, the squad PISSES-OFF the Princi...

To make it worse for me, when I stepped into the Princi's office, a lovely scene greeted me...the squad! all happy and together, like the fuckin A-TEAM!
"Yes, we are the champions...my phriends....and we'll keep on faaating till the end!!" Of all the times I have ever felt like punching someone, this one takes the CAKE!!
Since I was the room invigilator for the "culprit" I was urged to sign a few things, mostly what i didnt believe... well I'm happy to say that I did'nt. Atleast somewhere in that roasted brain of theirs, they agreed to let me write my own view of the fiasco. The only problem.... it didnt matter. Not one bit. The poor boy lost a lot of time, was'nt allowed into the hall again, and in all probablities, my "appeal" may have been used as a "kleenex"... or perhaps not, the squad prefers trees and lamp posts. Bastards ki jai!

Upbringing? Emotional immaturity? Sexual frustration?(in other words...
"Apna Haath, Jagannath" syndrome) Or just a simple case of the "If I were King for a day" feeling. It Sucks!!!!

Gabbar....!

2005-11-07T05:00:00.000+05:30

Growing a beard is not easy. Growing a moustache is worse. Its like this, you first grow a beard, then shave off the parts you dont want, till a moustache remains... then you have to groom the moustache...ie, after it has grown considerably. If you're planning on just growing a moustache without a beard camouflage,you'll have to get used to comments like...
"Whats that on his face?!?" or "You should try my soap, its quite effective" or "How was the milkshake"....well,FUCK THEM ALL! especially the type who offer you soap...bleddy condescending pricks!

A burgeoning stubble evokes mixed but amusing responses from people... some even call you handsome... ha!
Trust me,almost nobody likes a bearded being... why? Its like this, beards are scary. Almost all the bad-ass villains were bearded...but why bearded...and not just some kind of funky hair-do...why the poor beard? Its all related to evolution.... for instance, whats the one thing that sets apart man and beast? is it...
...speech?...nope!
...opposable-digits a.k.a thumbs?...hmmmm....nope!
...ability to "enjoy" sex?....well...
...No!!
Its HAIR! more specifically, FACIAL hair...according to Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's law of follicular relativity....

"The quantity of facial hair is in inverse proportion to the extent of evolution"

There... HAIR is what sets apart man and beast. Its hair that gives animals the "fierce" edge...
And,most people are afraid of animals,beasts, the like. Then from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's sub-law,Its true that, the lesser evolved a being, the more afraid is the general masses. Which inevitably leads to the conclusion...

"Scarier when HAIRIER"

Its true...the other day I scared a lil girl just by looking at her! Technically, from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's corollary, It should have been the other way around... after all, she had more hair than I did (or ever will) Come to think of it, she was a lil scary.....with her "Earschplittinloudenboomer" like scream.... that might also go on to prove Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's second and rather explicit law...

"Women.are.scary... "

[btw,thats read "WOMEN(period)ARE(period)SCARY(period)(period)(period)"]
But for some strange reason, he was murdered before proving it...hmmm

But for now, whats been proved is that FACIAL hair decreases IQ. I,can feel that... I've been growing a beard lately,and I dont know if it will evolve into a moustache. Not just because I cant make up my mind, but for the simple reason that I DONT know.
But my not knowing could also be attributed to the fact that I now have a beard, and my IQ has decreased...and so has my perception, understanding,etc...

Maybe I should shave it off, then I'd know exactly what I would want to do with it...but then it would'nt be there anymore....Soooo I'll grow it back knowing what to do with it,and then...but no, what if... what if my stupidity takes over....once again rendering me with a healthy dose of indecision.... Then I'd have to shave again,to regain sense... Yep! I'll do just that.... Shave everyday!

ps : Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt ROCKS!!!!

Set me free...

2005-08-29T06:51:00.000+05:30

There has never been another song that could ACTUALLY make me feel like this one does....OK,agreed, every song is exclusive in its own subtle way, and further, a song strikes a chord depending on the circumstances under which it is heard, but not this one....from the first time I heard it,to right now...slumped in front of the PC on a Sunday afternoon...at "work"....and through my window,watching a typical "Bangalore" rain...(partial sun...torrential rain...) Even the bloody RAW recording sounds beautiful.... Dunno WHAT those guys were on...when they wrote it.
Brilliant piece of work though. I really dont know the words, but sometimes...just sometimes, a song just by the quality of ABSOLUTE music can "speak" with you...just like the way this does with me..... i dont know if its because of the lovely Maj7ths or the Sus2 or the funny riffs in between (i'm just showing off my knowledge on chords...eh???) But No, seriously....this one song, has THE potential to hit it big... FUCKING BIG!!!...if we can only get our act together.

SO I disconnected my bike's horn... WOW...total "Zen" feeling while riding around... that is, if Zen means "just about to DIE". Bangalore has lost it. Dunno if its S.M Krishna's fault or Premji and Moorthy's. Well, bottomline, its crowded... And Mr.Lowda and Singh are'nt helping either....So,in the words of the Jengle Boy...
"Big Slimey Sweaty Hairy Balls" to them... Ha!
Long Live Jengle Boy!

But its nice not having a horn...No, I'm not mad, maybe a little, Ok, you win. But it sort-of calms you down.
In the beginning, all you feel like doing is RIPPING the MoFo's head off....then you shout stuff like..."Ninn ammanakayee..." of course, only if you're wearing a helmet... otherwise you just say it in your head...thats not so much fun...no. But then gradually, after a few days, you do something you've not done in a long time...you ride SLOW. Now thats more ZEN like.... Riding slow ROCKS! its amazing to watch people swish past... reminds me of Revolver...
"...Running everywhere in such a speed,
Till they find, theres no need, theres no need..."
Long live Georgie!
Now, when a mundane thing like riding in traffic can remind me of a song I love, then it does'nt stay mundane anymore!

I hope something,someday,while riding, will remind me of...
"She's jaas Layk a PEHNGWYN in BAAUHNDAYGE BOIEEN... Oh YEAH Oh Yeah Oie... "
Long Live Zappa!

Actually...thaas jaas SICK!

Well, Freedom jam happened... it kicked ass as usual, mostly ours.

Correction to an affore-mentioned Lamentation... there was no bomb threat, Its just that the organisers forgot to get police permission....hmmm. How sad is that? Not very, especially if you have only 2 people running around, arranging something for 20,000 other people... yep! there were 3 stages, and we got the 3rd stage, and we also got mighty PISSED! there were horses around, and it was stinky...Horse Dung....Kudre Laddhi...heheheh R-N-C.... in the words of Mr.BTR...
" Labo-Labohhhh.....!!! "
Long Live BTR!
The allotment was anounced 3 hours after we reported there, so thats 3 hours of horrible,scalding,BUM BELTING heat!!!!...palace grounds is like a bleddy desert!!!
Anyway, things turned out great! we got to sound check our entire list at 3, made fools of ourselves of course, and then got a prime 7 O'clock slot! Which was when we ROCKED the crowd!!!

Its amazing how a drunk audience can be controlled with a simple distortion pedal.

"Wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wah-wahn-wahn-wahkah-CHAYHNAYNNNNNN..."
Long Live OS-2 !!!

So,Life is good.
So good is life.
So,is life good?
Good,so is life.
Life is so good.
Life is good,so?

Good Night!

Freedumb Jam!

2005-08-17T00:20:00.000+05:30

Am I the pun master or WHAT????? Its always great that somebody is doing something to benefit somebody else and in turn benefit that somebody itself...phew! Guruskool was this lil foundation that has grown to a gargantuan size in the last 3 years....More than providing a platform for young bands to perform, it has created a certain feeling of "woodstock"ishness among bangaloreans...Now how would that benefit? i dunno....I guess its the whole "play your own music" scene... But verrrry rarely does the crowd at freedom jam ask for own comps of local bands...its either METALLLIKKKAAAAA or SLAAAYYYYYER! or MAYDDDENNNNNNN!!!! tsk!tsk!I say...O blimey!

Anyhow...I have very fond memories about the Freedom Jam.... thats where I met the dudes of Mazarine....I remember waiting like mad for "The Galeej Gurus"... they had the 12 "midnight" slot....and they kicked ass!!! But not that night...something happened, they did'nt come on stage at 12...nor at 1...or 2, or 3.... waiting....patiently till 5....then shalimaar, psycholash and myself decided to split...and we went to M.G Road petrol bunk and had coffee...or Cup-O...or was it both? dont remember....I just remember...that my sales job STANK so much...I wanted that night to last forever...with the lovely music...and the whole 'feeling'... wonder if THAT was a "woodstockish" feeling....

3 years since...Freedom Jam is all major now....its soo huge that, its something that the Bastard terrorists consider worthwhile to bomb... hmmm... looks like when you start selling home-made cookies retail at "quick-E" marts and the like, word just spreads....and poof! before you know it..."home-made" cookies are'nt home made anymore!.....Eh??

Wellll,... whats the point if a "freedom jam" is postponed...because of a bomb threat? does it still get to be called a "freedom" jam? How free are we? How much will we take, and how much fear will we be subjected to? Mr.Michael Krishnan says... in his latest masterpiece..."State of fear" how essential it is to have a prevailing feeling of fear, inorder that a society may function normally.... well...thats the gist....

It takes all kinds...but I guess everything can be linked to my roach theory.... are these terrorists needed?? sure they are God's creation et al..... but wtf? Is it true that a society becomes ultra-malfunctional as soon as things settle down???
Do we really need Kashmir? well thats just wrong...today its Kashmir, tomorrow it will be Gujarat, then before long Kerala, then Tamil Nadu...(hmmm...Tamil Nadu....tempting...) finally all thats left for India will be will be Madhya Pradesh...the Crotch of India.... though it would be nice if we could build an underpass from Bihar to pakistan...and say "There! you wanted a state did'nt ya?" while we're at it...another one from Tamil Nadu to Bihar... wonder what would happen if Laloo and Jayalalitha had babies together...... *terribly cold shudder running up my spine....*

Am I Idi Amen or WHAT????

So, Uncle....hows the paper this time??

2005-08-08T17:05:00.000+05:30

I got stuck with invigilation ...again. Maybe,watching over "lil" engineering kids answering an exam could be quite interesting, entertaining even. But try watching over someone 20 friggin' years older than you, write his 1'st year paper for the nth time.... you'd think after 'n' attempts....he might actually study this time, but noooo.... he has just devised a (n+1)th method to copy in an exam hall.

Since this was the last year B.U students could write their back papers at the college where they "studied" in, I was given "instructions" to let them copy.... something like.."..let them to refer the chitss...but dont letting them to converse..." eh???
also,"... ward should not move around in the class room" ....EH????

Thats what I was up against....so I enter the class room, and I see 23 people, very happy that I have entered the class.....somehow, word spreads quick....especially when the "word" is about the "kid" who's coming to invigilate today. One buldoo looks at me and asks..." Saar you want my mobile phone...?"...eh?
Yes, that would be nice,also,please ask your son to come back later...I know he's anxious about his father's exam,but he could get long, life-lasting emotional stigma!

One of them was from the 83 batch... EIGHTY THREE!!! I was just 2 years old then!!!! Its probably a nice plan....dude tries hand at engineering, fails missssserrrably...but does'nt want to give up, so gets woman pregnant and marries ...waits for child to join engineering.... then shares notes!!! then passes with flying colours... Alas! it is'nt a "flawless" plan. owing to a factor of "Syllabus Change"!!! also a factor of "probable divorce n no-custody"....

Coming back to me in the classroom....
...So I got tossed around the room....people walked in and out, passed chits, flung question papers out of the window...."why" you ask? so that their "accomplices"(or children,in few cases) could quickly "solve" the paper and appropriately XEROX certain parts of certain text-books, and then "smuggle" the solutions into the exam hall.

Yeah! Watching them at work was awessome!!!

In their defense...."We can't study anymore..." and "...My bakery needs me..." and "I have to get married, I really REALLY NEED a degree"...then really REALLY study!!!

They go all out, these guys...
Even booked the "squad"... that was fun....sometime in between, this huge punk...a cross between a doberman and an elephant's turd..... walked into the room...joined his hands and said "pranaam" to me... next minute he's busy collecting cash from each bozo in the room...."Squad-igey kaasu..." and one big grin..."adjust madkoli saar"
Great!...how'bout I shove a jackfruit up your arse???Yeah!...adjust THAT mo-fuckah!

Anyway, it was'nt that bad....had some fun too.... saw this 97 batch bakra, young n trendy...meaning just 2 years older than me...making him my "super" senior...
...so I walk up to him, watching him burn his answer sheet with answers straight out from some xerox'd notes... look carefully at him....
"You from Ramaiah??" I ask...
"Yeah...why?" .....at that precise moment my eyes brighten and ...
"You RAGGED me did'nt you?????HUH??"....
"NOOO.... I dont think so,...wait..are you mallyalee?? I only ragged mallus..." ...more scaring ...
"No, I remember your face...you ragged me when I was in first year....I'll never forget your face..." ...now he's a lil disturbed...visibly...
"Oh..er..I'm sorry, please dont keep in mind...okay? huh? please."...yeah...heheheh!
...well, as donkey would say..... "uuuunh!!!...thas NAAAYSTEYH!!!"

On the other side...there are dudes that really want to get thru honestly...
this one dude had 28 papers last year, out of which he managed to clear 15... now has 13 papers...And I'm helping him out with one of them....God Bless him! (Well that did'nt quite sound right)

Cockroaches!

2005-07-29T15:38:00.000+05:30

This morning, I woke up at 5 am, could'nt sleep because of a sick nightmare! Dreamt that I landed in the U-Gess-OfAY...totally dark,humid and lonely...the weather that is,...well,me too, except for the dark and humid part(This was'nt scarry). Felt weird because I went straight into a university, and the walls had spit marks just like in Ramaiah(This was'nt scarry either...). Then by some twist in the wormholes of my mind I landed back at the airport... And I reached for my phone, then realised my SIM card's gone...(WTF?) Then I realised I would'nt be able to speak to her, (yeah... that was scarry....)... went on further and saw my luggage waiting for me, Then I looked closer and something was missing...my synth...BLINK! No more sleep for me.

What does one do when rudely awoken by oneself and one cant sleep one more minute? try to go back to sleep?.... well not me. I switched on my comp and solved a GRE paper.... bleddy ironic.

So my kitchen's infested with stinking cockroaches....mostly lil ones which i often squish with my thumb... Laxman Rekha does did-dly-squat.... So Dada comes up with "HIT"...(h)it works quite well! most of "them critters" die and go to stinky-roach hell... A few of the adventurous type leave the kitchen in search of "greener pastures" or the stinky cockroach equivalent...

See, its not good to be adventurous when you're easily noticed... basically, anything big with-respect-to the place it lives in, will soon be expelled from place of dwelling, or soon die of "un-natural" means... Dinosaurs for example... I bet if we were as big as King Kong, we'd be squished too...

No one likes to see "things" crawling around the house... even babies...which is why they're fed so much ... so that they'd GROW UP!(If I had a rupee for everytime i've heard that....)

Anyway, so I saw this HUMUNGOUS stinky cockroach on the wall next to the main door...I was just about to leave, but then, you know what they say about sighting a stinky-cockroach just before you leave home...

So i had to throw it out, got my Rocher box and trapped it in. nice! wiggle*wiggle*
then some more wiggle*....from a distance it looked sick...upon closer viewing.... it was just some dust stuck to its butt....gross all the same!

Took the box to the balcony and flung king kong out. Something tells me, he'll be back.

I dont think anybody can actually "LIKE" Cockroaches... They FART every 15 mintues!!
I personally dont like competition.

First time

2005-07-28T16:27:00.000+05:30

Vokay here goes, can't write too much....